The Gay: Taylor Lautner stripping down in front of Bella Swan’s father. Talk about a daddy-son fantasy being played out in front of a mainstream audience! Also, there’s a lot of swoonworthy shots of Kellan Lutz’s bulging biceps, Robert Pattinson’s emo-licious stares, and a bunch of other cute vampires and werewolf boys to dream about long after the movie is done. Gawd, I need a towel. And Michael Sheen’s performance as Volturi leader, Aro, is like Liberace meets Pee-Wee Herman! Faaaabulous!
The Bad: Ugh! Where to begin! The lame-sauce storyline, the dialogue, the bad acting, the pouting, the angst, the bad accents from the foreign vampires. This movie is a B-grade flick with an A-grade budget. Seriously. Bad.
Plus this movie boasts the biggest “psych!” moment ever that is bound to piss off a lot of Twihards. At the screening I attended, the whole audience screamed “WTF?” when it happened. (Well played, Twilight. Well played…)
The Fugly: After five movies, you’d think they’d get the makeup jobs down. But nope. Those faces reek of fugliness, especially those eyes! And that digitally altered vampire/human hybrid baby, Renesmee (which is such a bad name, even the movie makes fun of how lame it is), reminds me of a freakier version of the Ally McBeal dancing baby. This movie is a total fug-fest.
A fitting farewell to Twilight, or good riddance?: This one is definitely for the fans. If you remotely enjoyed any of the Twilight Saga films, even for the cheese factor (like I did), you’ll enjoy this one. Otherwise, I can’t recommend this flick to any living soul.
The Grade: C-