Testicles Time: What Do Your Testicles Say About You?

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September 5, 2014
6:00 a.m.

Story Courtesy Of Graham Gremore

When it comes to a man’s testicles, size matters. At least according to a new investigation by Medical Daily.

It can be easy to forget that a man’s package includes more than just his penis. Sure, the penis is the main attraction, but the balls play an integral part in the makeup of the male anatomy. So what do your cojones say about you? Let’s explore…

Big balls can result in increased chances of heart problems and cheating.


According to a a 2013 study conducted on over 2,800 men, guys with larger testes may have an increased chance of developing heart disease. Researchers suggested the reason for this was due to a higher amount of the testosterone-producing hormone called luteinizing hormone, which is responsible for stimulating testosterone production. Past studies have linked higher levels of testosterone to heart disease.

study released earlier this year by the University of Oslo in Norway also found that men with large balls can be more prone to cheating. Assistant Professor Petter Bøckman concluded that “primates with bigger testicles were more likely to be unfaithful.” The reason? It has to do with the whole “survival of the fittest” thing, in which men with lots of sperm want to spread their seed to as many partners as possible.

tumblr_inline_n9tg9cAJVU1rbj4v9Smaller scrotal sacs can cause insomnia.

Researchers at the University of Southern Denmark found a link between the size of a guy’s scrotum and the quality of his sleep. Nearly 1,000 men were surveyed about their sleeping habits, and then had their testicular sizes and sperm counts measured. The study found that the sperm counts of men who reported insomnia, later bedtimes, or inconsistent sleep patterns were 29 percent lower. On top of that, their yam bags were 1.6 percent smaller than those of guys who reported sleeping soundly.

Researchers noted that the size of the men’s testicles may not be entirely to blame for their lack of sleep. People who reported poor sleep patterns also tended to lead unhealthier lifestyles filled with fatty foods, alcohol, and smoking, among other vices. Thus smaller balls can actually indicate a person is unhealthy in other ways, too.

So there you have it, fellas. Everything you ever wanted to know about the size of your scrotum. Up next: how bleach baths can cure you of a smelly sac.

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7 years, 11 months ago

Correlation does not always equal causation, just because one has bigger balls does not mean that they will cheat. Many of these so called “studies” are flawed, and only show what the people who payed for the studies want to see. Yet another article on here to be taken with a grain of salt.