Music Guyd: The Top 5 Best and Worst Songs of 2012

Connor Sobolik
Authored by
Connor Sobolik

December 26, 2012
6:45 p.m.

This year has been a really great year for music in some aspects and, in many others, we have fallen short. Madonna is back, Ellie Goulding has taken North America by storm, and Ed Sheeran has proven that minimalist music can become mainstream. However, Beiber has released another album, One Direction has made it to number one, and Nicki Minaj continues to take over the world. Below is the best way to narrow it down: all the songs that should have dominated the charts and all the ones that really shouldn’t have. If you disagree with any of my choices, feel free to vent in the comments section below.

Top 5 Worst Songs of 2012

Number 1: One Direction – “Little Things”

Though my last defaming of the One Direction empire ended in a steady flow of rage-filled hate mail from the so-called “Directioners,” I can’t possibly make a Top 5 Terrible Track list without mentioning this talentless team. “Little Things” was intended to be the poppy pile of perfect smiles moving into a “legitimate” musical sound. With a hand-full of acoustic rifts and a heavy coat of auto-tune, these prepubescents managed to make something even worse than “That’s What Makes You Beautiful.” The track was very successful on the charts, clearly dominated by the opinions of preteens.

Number 2: Justin Bieber – “As Long As You Love Me

If your ears are not still bleeding from Biebers infamous track “Baby” then you may have come across Bieber’s push to be seen as a much more mature adult. However, with adulthood comes an increase in testosterone. This beautiful part of nature’s course managed to drain this manufactured manichean of every ounce of talent he once had. While a 14-year-old may be able to belt like a new-born, his 18th birthday pulled the possibility of that ever happening again. Yet with an empire that size, they pushed the many heads together to create a messy mix of over-edited vocals and charismatic back beats. This song is terrible.

Number 3: Chris Brown – “Don’t Wake Me Up”

We’ve all had our bad mornings; I would go as far as to say that no one enjoys the sound of a ringing alarm. But I feel one must be totally out of material to produce a song about that very feeling. The song starts with “Too much light in this window, don’t wake me up. Only coffee, no sugar, inside my cup!” If that doesn’t give you a clue that the rest of the track is going to be terrible then you have no right to complain when the witless wanna-be dubstep gets even worse.

Number 4: Carly Rae Jepsen – “Call Me Maybe”

If you managed to stop singing this song in the shower or you are the one of the lucky few who don’t even hum it in your head, then I apologize for reminding you. This song is probably the most annoying track since “You Had a Bad Day.” As much as I would love to support Canadian artists, Jepsen needs to go. I also would like to point out that she is doing a duck face in the picture posted beside.

Number 5: Maroon 5 – “Pay Phone”

Don’t think for a second that I’m saying Adam Levine is anything less then loveable. His adorable smile, sexy stubble, and rippling tattooed body is undeniably beautiful. However, his vocals are indistinguishable in this combination of soft rock and pop. The lyrics are not only few and far between, but the repetitive nature of the beat is enough to suggest that the track was never intended to be longer than the length of a ring tone. I am sure they were attempting to be deep, relate-able, and maybe even inspiring. They fell short.


Top 5 Best Songs of 2012

Number 1: Passenger – “Let Her Go”

Hands down the very best break up song of this year. Passenger has come virtually out of nowhere. It seems like only moments ago he was singing on the street for spare change, and now he’s touring with Ed Sheeran. Not only is his music so genuine and raw, but every song sounds like a private concert for two.

Number 2: Lana Del Rey – “Blue Jeans”

I was astonished to hear that this song did not make it onto the charts. The lyrics are so overwhelmingly touching and the vocals are out of this world. She manages to totally reinvent the way we listen to ballads by throwing her voice into every octave. Also, this track is accompanied with one of the most moving videos of the year.

Number 3: Sigur Ros – “Fjogur Piano”

This song is not for everyone, which is probably why you won’t hear it on the radio. It is so beautifully simple and sways you into reflection. The video is a somber recollection of time past that stars Shia Lebouf and even features full-frontal nudity. If you don’t like piano then you are probably still going to watch the clip at least to see Lebouf’s “stuff.”

Number 4: Serena Ryder – “Stompa”

Ryder’s album was only released in November, and this song is so catchy it’s already up on my list. You can really feel the pain in her voice and you can’t help feeling comforted.

Number 5: Ellie Goulding – “Explosions”

Goulding’s album Halcyon is one of my favourite discs of all time. Every song melts into the next as you follow her ethereal voice through an epic journey. Surprisingly, her single “Anything Can Happen” is one of the weaker tracks. Her song “Explosions” should have been the leading track, but I’m sure we will be hearing it on the radio soon enough.

I am not complaining, a lot of great albums came out, a lot of new artists began to blow up the scene, and the world didn’t end. What more can you ask for in a year of music?


Anonymous User
music224 (Guest)
9 years, 6 months ago

your worst five are the most overplayed songs also

Anonymous User
pericles1001 (Guest)
9 years, 6 months ago

Top 5 is awesome! Fjögur píanó it’s a beautiful song, but the video it’s a fucking pice of art

Anonymous User
Jay Catterson (Guest)
9 years, 6 months ago

Just pointing out that One Direction’s “Little Things” was co-written by Ed Sheeran… #justsaying

Anonymous User
Rico (Guest)
9 years, 6 months ago

It was until I heard this song that I respected him #justsaying

Anonymous User
anon (Guest)
8 years, 7 months ago

Ugh, Let her go is terrible.

Anonymous User
prachi (Guest)
7 years, 10 months ago

Maroon 5 is the most awesome band. Payphone didn’t top the charts for no reason